Have a plate engraved with a message for the one you love without them knowing about it. When you take them out to dinner, ask the waiter to serve their meal on that plate. Wrap up a small gift for your sweetheart and put it in his/her favorite box of cereal. Make love dishes which are designed to romantically inspire your partner. They symbolize love and have an aphrodisiac effect. Call a restaurant where your love lives and have them deliver a nice meal to him/her.
Make your love breakfast in bed and serve it with a rose, a love poem and a sweet kiss. You can make it extra special by feeding it to him/her. Make some heart shaped sugar cookies and decorate them. Then leave them on your sweetheart’s passenger seat in their car, so they go to work knowing how much they are loved. Surprise your sweetheart one day when he/she expects you to be at work with a picnic lunch at a local park.
Go to the beach and bring a blanket and a radio. Sit on the blanket while feeding each other chocolates or fruits, with some soft music playing. Then tell your mate how you feel about them, while holding hands and walking in the sand. Cook dinner in your fireplace. Eat and enjoy the evening in front of it with no distractions other than a sweet romantic music playing in the background.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Bringing back Romance
Romance dies, that's a fact, right? When you find the love of your life, you'll both settle into a daily routine of financial, household, and child-rearing responsibilities, forgetting you are a couple, right? Romance will only last through the initial crush of the relationship. There are many relationships where romance is alive and well. I am in such a relationship, and you can be as well. After that you and your partner will start taking each other for granted, right? It does not have to be this way.
This means if romance dies, one or both people in the relationship will begin to feel unappreciated. For many, this can be the beginning of the end of the relationship, or perhaps the beginning of an affair. And in case you think this is a trivial subject, please know romance matters to the health and well being of your relationship. Being romantic is nothing more or less than appreciating and celebrating your partner.
Learn compassion and acceptance.
Realize that your partner is human, no matter how perfect he or she seemed in the beginning. He is going to do things that bug you. She is going to do things to disappoint you. Most importantly, remember your partner is not imperfect to hurt you. His or her imperfections are not an indication of a lack of love for you.
Communicate, communicate, and communicate negative emotions.
The best thing to do with any negative emotion is to get it out in the open and resolve it. But communicate these emotions instead of accusing your partner of making you feel this way or that. Communicate when you feel hurt. Communicate when you need something to change. Communicate when you are disappointed. Communicate when you feel angry. Communicate when you feel needy. It is the negative emotions like those above we tend to not want to communicate in a relationship.
Celebrate your partner every day.
I know this one is hard to do, but here is something that will help immediately. For all you know, today could be the last day you and your partner have together. And if it is the last day, you won't know it until it is over. The thing most people regret when a loved one dies is not having had the opportunity to say, "I love you." If a loved one has died in your life, you know exactly what I mean. Live each day as if it were the last day of your relationship. If this really were the last day with your partner, you would want him or her to know how much he or she is loved and appreciated.
This means if romance dies, one or both people in the relationship will begin to feel unappreciated. For many, this can be the beginning of the end of the relationship, or perhaps the beginning of an affair. And in case you think this is a trivial subject, please know romance matters to the health and well being of your relationship. Being romantic is nothing more or less than appreciating and celebrating your partner.
Learn compassion and acceptance.
Realize that your partner is human, no matter how perfect he or she seemed in the beginning. He is going to do things that bug you. She is going to do things to disappoint you. Most importantly, remember your partner is not imperfect to hurt you. His or her imperfections are not an indication of a lack of love for you.
Communicate, communicate, and communicate negative emotions.
The best thing to do with any negative emotion is to get it out in the open and resolve it. But communicate these emotions instead of accusing your partner of making you feel this way or that. Communicate when you feel hurt. Communicate when you need something to change. Communicate when you are disappointed. Communicate when you feel angry. Communicate when you feel needy. It is the negative emotions like those above we tend to not want to communicate in a relationship.
Celebrate your partner every day.
I know this one is hard to do, but here is something that will help immediately. For all you know, today could be the last day you and your partner have together. And if it is the last day, you won't know it until it is over. The thing most people regret when a loved one dies is not having had the opportunity to say, "I love you." If a loved one has died in your life, you know exactly what I mean. Live each day as if it were the last day of your relationship. If this really were the last day with your partner, you would want him or her to know how much he or she is loved and appreciated.
Simple romance tips
Romance is a flower that brings happiness and fragrance to everyone who touches it. It gives us a reason to smile when the world seems upside down. It fills the empty places in our heart, giving us hope for a future. It brings shine in the eyes making us the most beautiful person on the earth. Love is happiness, love is joy, and love is the happiness in everyone’s life.So are you looking for some great romantic ideas …Here it is….
Love Until the Roses Die
When your girlfriend is feeling low or you had a fight this romantic tip will work out just marvelous. Go to a florist and buy a bunch of red roses. Also along with it buy a fake rose and put it in the center of your bouquet. She will definitely be surprised and at the end of it she’ll simply adore you. After all she’ll know that one red rose will never die like your eternal love.
Love Poems
Love poems speak the eternal language of love and romance and are a perfect way to bring a smile on that pretty face. So on this Valentine, select a nice poem self-written.
Valentine Date
When you are planning for your grand date this Valentine, leave a little suspense in the air. Leave chits around places in the house directing your date to the restaurant where you are waiting for the romantic evening together. Arrange a car if transportation is an issue.
Pick a number
This romantic tip is real fun and truly gives the meaning of love. Tell your sweetheart to pick a number between 1-50 and then shower him/her with that number of kisses.
Express your love
Show your beloved how much he/she means to you by telling her that you love, adore, admire, cherish, desire, want, need, prize, esteem, idolize, revere, treasure him/her forever.
Perfumed Romance
Sprinkle some perfume on a bulb. And when the bulb is turned on it will fill the room with its fragrance. Isn’t it a truly romantic setting?So let this Valentine is the beginning to a life long love with these romantic tips brought together especially for you…
Love Until the Roses Die
When your girlfriend is feeling low or you had a fight this romantic tip will work out just marvelous. Go to a florist and buy a bunch of red roses. Also along with it buy a fake rose and put it in the center of your bouquet. She will definitely be surprised and at the end of it she’ll simply adore you. After all she’ll know that one red rose will never die like your eternal love.
Love Poems
Love poems speak the eternal language of love and romance and are a perfect way to bring a smile on that pretty face. So on this Valentine, select a nice poem self-written.
Valentine Date
When you are planning for your grand date this Valentine, leave a little suspense in the air. Leave chits around places in the house directing your date to the restaurant where you are waiting for the romantic evening together. Arrange a car if transportation is an issue.
Pick a number
This romantic tip is real fun and truly gives the meaning of love. Tell your sweetheart to pick a number between 1-50 and then shower him/her with that number of kisses.
Express your love
Show your beloved how much he/she means to you by telling her that you love, adore, admire, cherish, desire, want, need, prize, esteem, idolize, revere, treasure him/her forever.
Perfumed Romance
Sprinkle some perfume on a bulb. And when the bulb is turned on it will fill the room with its fragrance. Isn’t it a truly romantic setting?So let this Valentine is the beginning to a life long love with these romantic tips brought together especially for you…
Rainy day Romance Tips
Write a love letter to your partner and then read it aloud to them
A Romantic Walk In The Rain - For those who are not afraid of getting wet, here is something romantic to do together
Kiss that lasts 1 minute – set timer
Hug that lasts 1 minute – set timer
Sweet rain – Shower together
Reminisce about your first dates and how you fell in love
Appreciation list and then share the lists – at least 10 items
Reading poetry to each other
Curling up with a romantic movie
Cooking together – each other’s favorite meal
Sharing goals and vision of your future together
Pajama game – pajamas all day. Who can create the most romantic outfits? The winner gets to enjoy the outfit. Repeat after each win.
Midday midnight party – close all the drapes, cut the lights, use candles only, put on the music, and pretend you are on a midnight date.
A Romantic Walk In The Rain - For those who are not afraid of getting wet, here is something romantic to do together
Kiss that lasts 1 minute – set timer
Hug that lasts 1 minute – set timer
Sweet rain – Shower together
Reminisce about your first dates and how you fell in love
Appreciation list and then share the lists – at least 10 items
Reading poetry to each other
Curling up with a romantic movie
Cooking together – each other’s favorite meal
Sharing goals and vision of your future together
Pajama game – pajamas all day. Who can create the most romantic outfits? The winner gets to enjoy the outfit. Repeat after each win.
Midday midnight party – close all the drapes, cut the lights, use candles only, put on the music, and pretend you are on a midnight date.
Wedding Night
To make your wedding night even more memorable, pack a surprise to delight your new spouse. It needn't be large or expensive. After the excitement and expense of the wedding, this truly is an instance where it's the thought that counts. Your first night as a married couple after the wedding may be different from the way you imagine it. Some ideas for bliss on a pillow -- for him, for her, and to share during a lifetime together -- follow:
Heartfelt card thanking your partner for bringing you such happiness
A romantic gift basket
Love poem
Diamond heart pendant
Single rose and bottle of Champagne (arrange for hotel to supply)
Inscribed book of poetry to read aloud
Book: Love Letters: An Anthology of Passion
Romantic Weekender (with Original Oil of Love, Pleasure Balm, Wild Clove and Mint Tree Bathing Gels, and Honey Dust with handmade feather applicator.)
An antique clock
A pair of compact, waterproof binoculars
Travel radio
Digital camera - prices vary
Heartfelt card thanking your partner for bringing you such happiness
A romantic gift basket
Love poem
Diamond heart pendant
Single rose and bottle of Champagne (arrange for hotel to supply)
Inscribed book of poetry to read aloud
Book: Love Letters: An Anthology of Passion
Romantic Weekender (with Original Oil of Love, Pleasure Balm, Wild Clove and Mint Tree Bathing Gels, and Honey Dust with handmade feather applicator.)
An antique clock
A pair of compact, waterproof binoculars
Travel radio
Digital camera - prices vary
Marriage Advice: Ten Ways to Add Romance to Your Marriage.
Every marriage needs a healthy dose of on-going romance to add spice, delight, and fun to the relationship. It’s not enough to just start out with a sizzling romance. You have to find a way to keep the romance alive as the months and years accumulate.
One of the marital challenges many couples face is how to live together without losing that special romantic spark. It’s all-too-easy to lose the role of lover along the way. When this happens, spouses often start relating to each other as they would to a friend or a sibling. Parents can begin to feel they are only “business partners” joined together to raise their children and keep the household running.
How can you keep romance alive when your daily work schedule is grueling, you’re always short on time and energy, and you’re not sure what to do? Here are ten tips to help you sprinkle romance into your marriage:
Pay attention when your spouse mentions things he or she likes or expresses interest in something that could make a good gift, such as a new CD, a book, or theater/concert/sports tickets. Be on the lookout for ideas for birthday, holiday, and anniversary gifts, plus “no reason” surprise gifts. It’s very flattering to know that someone really tried to find a gift that was just what you wanted.
Frequently offer
foot massages, shoulder massages, and full-body massages to your spouse. You’ll get plenty of romantic brownie points in your “relationship bank account” if you keep some great-smelling lotion handy and take ten minutes to massage your spouse’s tired feet at the end of a long work day. Note: If you expect to be rewarded for your efforts by sex, you won’t accumulate any points for being romantic. Your spouse will just think you have an ulterior motive when you offer a massage in the future.
Giving sweet cards and letters to your spouse can be romantic, as can emails and phone messages that share your feelings and passion. Handwritten letters sent through the mail are becoming more and more of a rarity. That’s good for you because that means your spouse will think you’re really romantic for taking the time to write a love letter by hand and mail it. That will make more of an impact than just sending an email if you want to get extra brownie points.
Another way to be romantic is to look for opportunities to pamper and spoil your spouse. That might be letting a spouse sleep in late while you watch the kids, or it could be telling your partner to sit down and relax while you clean up after dinner. The key is in the delivery of the offer. You might say, “Nothing’s too good for my sweetheart” or “You’re such a love. It’s fun to pamper you.” You can accompany your words with a hug or kiss
Talking in front of your spouse to someone else about your partner’s good points is romantic. Take full advantage of opportunities to say, ‘I’m so lucky to have such a supportive wife (or husband)—she’s such a treasure. I’m a lucky man.” You can also do this when you’re talking on the phone and know that your spouse is within listening range. If you’re not sure your partner heard you, when you get off the phone ask, “Did you hear me telling my sister what a great husband you are? I was really bragging on you!”
In the romance department, flowers, plants, candy, or a special home-cooked meal never go out of favor. Many females love to receive beautiful fresh flowers or a box of delicious chocolate candy. Both husbands and wives can appreciate the efforts of a partner to put together an intimate, special home-cooked meal by candlelight with music playing and flowers on the table.
Surprise your spouse with a framed picture of the two of you in a setting that will bring back pleasant memories. Another option is to frame a picture of your spouse that shows him or her in a flattering way and let your partner know how much you love the photo. Keep it on your nightstand, computer, dresser, or desk and let your spouse see you looking at it admiringly.
Take the initiative to plan a surprise weekend outing. Call and make all the arrangements ahead of time. The outing doesn’t have to be expensive or complex. It might be as simple as planning a picnic at a nearby scenic spot. You might prepare the surprise picnic lunch when your spouse is in the shower. Or you might make arrangements for a restaurant to pack a gourmet lunch for the two of you that you could pick up on your way out of town.
Music that you and your spouse both like can set a romantic tone. If you see a movie that you both enjoyed a lot, you might consider buying the sound track as a surprise gift the following week. You could also select a song that you both like and decide to make it “your song.” Or you could pick a song and tell your spouse that it reminds you of him or her for some positive reason.
Celebrate every occasion you can think of—the anniversary of the day you met, when you became engaged, your marriage anniversary, your birthdays, seeing the full moon, and anything else you can come up with. You can toast with champagne (or non-alcoholic champagne) and perhaps have a celebration meal. But it can be just as fun to make a big deal out of going out for an ice cream cone to celebrate.
One of the marital challenges many couples face is how to live together without losing that special romantic spark. It’s all-too-easy to lose the role of lover along the way. When this happens, spouses often start relating to each other as they would to a friend or a sibling. Parents can begin to feel they are only “business partners” joined together to raise their children and keep the household running.
How can you keep romance alive when your daily work schedule is grueling, you’re always short on time and energy, and you’re not sure what to do? Here are ten tips to help you sprinkle romance into your marriage:
Pay attention when your spouse mentions things he or she likes or expresses interest in something that could make a good gift, such as a new CD, a book, or theater/concert/sports tickets. Be on the lookout for ideas for birthday, holiday, and anniversary gifts, plus “no reason” surprise gifts. It’s very flattering to know that someone really tried to find a gift that was just what you wanted.
Frequently offer
foot massages, shoulder massages, and full-body massages to your spouse. You’ll get plenty of romantic brownie points in your “relationship bank account” if you keep some great-smelling lotion handy and take ten minutes to massage your spouse’s tired feet at the end of a long work day. Note: If you expect to be rewarded for your efforts by sex, you won’t accumulate any points for being romantic. Your spouse will just think you have an ulterior motive when you offer a massage in the future.
Giving sweet cards and letters to your spouse can be romantic, as can emails and phone messages that share your feelings and passion. Handwritten letters sent through the mail are becoming more and more of a rarity. That’s good for you because that means your spouse will think you’re really romantic for taking the time to write a love letter by hand and mail it. That will make more of an impact than just sending an email if you want to get extra brownie points.
Another way to be romantic is to look for opportunities to pamper and spoil your spouse. That might be letting a spouse sleep in late while you watch the kids, or it could be telling your partner to sit down and relax while you clean up after dinner. The key is in the delivery of the offer. You might say, “Nothing’s too good for my sweetheart” or “You’re such a love. It’s fun to pamper you.” You can accompany your words with a hug or kiss
Talking in front of your spouse to someone else about your partner’s good points is romantic. Take full advantage of opportunities to say, ‘I’m so lucky to have such a supportive wife (or husband)—she’s such a treasure. I’m a lucky man.” You can also do this when you’re talking on the phone and know that your spouse is within listening range. If you’re not sure your partner heard you, when you get off the phone ask, “Did you hear me telling my sister what a great husband you are? I was really bragging on you!”
In the romance department, flowers, plants, candy, or a special home-cooked meal never go out of favor. Many females love to receive beautiful fresh flowers or a box of delicious chocolate candy. Both husbands and wives can appreciate the efforts of a partner to put together an intimate, special home-cooked meal by candlelight with music playing and flowers on the table.
Surprise your spouse with a framed picture of the two of you in a setting that will bring back pleasant memories. Another option is to frame a picture of your spouse that shows him or her in a flattering way and let your partner know how much you love the photo. Keep it on your nightstand, computer, dresser, or desk and let your spouse see you looking at it admiringly.
Take the initiative to plan a surprise weekend outing. Call and make all the arrangements ahead of time. The outing doesn’t have to be expensive or complex. It might be as simple as planning a picnic at a nearby scenic spot. You might prepare the surprise picnic lunch when your spouse is in the shower. Or you might make arrangements for a restaurant to pack a gourmet lunch for the two of you that you could pick up on your way out of town.
Music that you and your spouse both like can set a romantic tone. If you see a movie that you both enjoyed a lot, you might consider buying the sound track as a surprise gift the following week. You could also select a song that you both like and decide to make it “your song.” Or you could pick a song and tell your spouse that it reminds you of him or her for some positive reason.
Celebrate every occasion you can think of—the anniversary of the day you met, when you became engaged, your marriage anniversary, your birthdays, seeing the full moon, and anything else you can come up with. You can toast with champagne (or non-alcoholic champagne) and perhaps have a celebration meal. But it can be just as fun to make a big deal out of going out for an ice cream cone to celebrate.
100 WAYS YOU CAN LOVE YOUR HUSBAND HIS WAY!
Discuss this list with your husband. Ask him to check the ones most meaningful to him and then arrange them in order of importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use these suggestions.
1. Communicate with him respectfully.
2. Regard him as important and let him know he's important to you.
3. Do everything you can to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him
.4. Be interested in his friends and occasionally give him time with them (if they are trust-worthy men).
5. Ask for his opinion and let him know you value what he says.
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Let him feel your approval and affections.
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Avoid sudden major changes without discussion giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don't bring up problems—have fun together instead.
13. Focus on what he's doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Correct him gently and in private.
16. Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for the way the rest of the evening will go. So try to make the first few minutes of seeing him a positive experience if possible. (And then ease into the negative if it's necessary.)
17. Make special time available to him apart from the children.
18. Don't allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. Be the one to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a marital team.
22. Don't over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God's grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him some time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect with you at other times.)26. Admit your mistakes; don't be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talks about him, remembering that love protects (1 Corinthians 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he's not tired).
32. Email him when he's at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he'd really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head of the home (without "lording" it over him).
38. Reserve some of your energies for him so you're not so tired when he wants you sexually. 39. Don't expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God's best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he's not there.
43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief when he's tired—sometimes men can feel "flooded" by too many words).
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (and differ respectfully in private when it's necessary).
46. Give him time to unwind for a few minutes after coming home from work, and then work it out ahead of time to take your "time out", giving him a few minutes with the children.
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it's a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his "help-mate" in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you can show your love for him in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood—give him quiet time to recover. Don't crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs your help.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: "Handle With Care."
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don't make him choose between you and them.
56. Don't compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he's done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don't expect credit for all you do for him and the household. Do it as "unto the Lord".
59. Make sure he knows and agrees with everything important that you're planning to do.
60. Do little things for him—an unexpected kiss, coffee in bed, etc.
61. Don't belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to "work" at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions with him. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you're out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks. Think, "What's he really trying to say?"69. Don't quarrel over words.
70. Don't forget to be kind and courteous with him. (Don't be kinder to strangers than you are to him.)
71. When something goes wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don't say, "I told you so."
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand in public. Snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he's watching television—even if the program doesn't interest you.
80. Don't expect him to read your mind. (Family's are spared a lot of grief when a husband isn't required to read their wife's mind despite the fact that the woman thinks he should.)
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff. (He may view them as more important than you realize.)
83. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words, especially when angry. Remember to "speak the truth in LOVE."
86. Don't criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you're angry with him, express it in respectful ways. Don't give him the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he's sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don't disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Be gracious in teaching him how to show you ways that will demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.
1. Communicate with him respectfully.
2. Regard him as important and let him know he's important to you.
3. Do everything you can to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him
.4. Be interested in his friends and occasionally give him time with them (if they are trust-worthy men).
5. Ask for his opinion and let him know you value what he says.
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Let him feel your approval and affections.
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Avoid sudden major changes without discussion giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don't bring up problems—have fun together instead.
13. Focus on what he's doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Correct him gently and in private.
16. Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for the way the rest of the evening will go. So try to make the first few minutes of seeing him a positive experience if possible. (And then ease into the negative if it's necessary.)
17. Make special time available to him apart from the children.
18. Don't allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. Be the one to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a marital team.
22. Don't over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God's grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him some time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect with you at other times.)26. Admit your mistakes; don't be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talks about him, remembering that love protects (1 Corinthians 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he's not tired).
32. Email him when he's at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he'd really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head of the home (without "lording" it over him).
38. Reserve some of your energies for him so you're not so tired when he wants you sexually. 39. Don't expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God's best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he's not there.
43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief when he's tired—sometimes men can feel "flooded" by too many words).
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (and differ respectfully in private when it's necessary).
46. Give him time to unwind for a few minutes after coming home from work, and then work it out ahead of time to take your "time out", giving him a few minutes with the children.
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it's a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his "help-mate" in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you can show your love for him in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood—give him quiet time to recover. Don't crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs your help.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: "Handle With Care."
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don't make him choose between you and them.
56. Don't compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he's done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don't expect credit for all you do for him and the household. Do it as "unto the Lord".
59. Make sure he knows and agrees with everything important that you're planning to do.
60. Do little things for him—an unexpected kiss, coffee in bed, etc.
61. Don't belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to "work" at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions with him. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you're out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks. Think, "What's he really trying to say?"69. Don't quarrel over words.
70. Don't forget to be kind and courteous with him. (Don't be kinder to strangers than you are to him.)
71. When something goes wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don't say, "I told you so."
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand in public. Snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he's watching television—even if the program doesn't interest you.
80. Don't expect him to read your mind. (Family's are spared a lot of grief when a husband isn't required to read their wife's mind despite the fact that the woman thinks he should.)
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff. (He may view them as more important than you realize.)
83. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words, especially when angry. Remember to "speak the truth in LOVE."
86. Don't criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you're angry with him, express it in respectful ways. Don't give him the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he's sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don't disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Be gracious in teaching him how to show you ways that will demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.
100 WAYS YOU CAN LOVE YOUR WIFE HER WAY
Discuss this list with your wife. Ask her to check the ones meaningful to her, and then have her arrange them in the order she considers important. Use the list as a basis for learning her views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you learn how to use these suggestions.
1. Communicate with her; don't close her out.
2. Talk to her without harshness.
3. Do everything you can to understand her feelings.
4. Be interested in her friends and occasionally give her time to be with them (if they are trustworthy).5. Ask her opinion frequently.
6. Show her you value what she says.
7. Find ways to help her sense your approval and affection.
8. Protect her on a daily basis.
9. Be gentle and tender with her.
10. Make an effort to laugh together every day — even through the toughest of times.
11. Avoid making sudden major changes without discussion and without giving her time to adjust.
12. Respond openly and verbally when she wants to communicate.
13. Comfort her when she's down emotionally. For instance, put your arms around her and silently hold her for a few seconds without lectures or put-downs.
14. Show interest in what she feels is important in life.
15. When you feel a need to correct her do it gently and tenderly—speaking the truth in LOVE. 16. Allow her to teach you without putting up your defenses.
17. Make special time available to her and the children.
18. Go the extra mile to show her that she matters more to you than your need to do something that threatens her sense of security.
19. Compliment her often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, with both words and actions.
21. Sit down with her to set specific family goals to achieve together for each year.
22. Allow her to buy things she considers necessary without hassling her.
23. Be forgiving when she offends you.
24. Show her you need her.
25. Learn to accept her the way she is; discover her uniqueness as special.
26. Admit your mistakes; don't be afraid to be humble. She'll appreciate that!
27. Defend her to others—especially to your family.
28. Allow your wife to fail; lovingly discuss what went wrong after you've comforted her.
29. Rub her feet or neck, or scratch her back after a hard day.
30. Take time to sit and talk calmly when either of you is upset about something
31. Take her out on romantic outings.
32. Write her a letter occasionally, telling her how much you love her.
33. Surprise her with a card or flowers.
34. Express to her how much you appreciate her.
35. Tell her how proud you are of her.
36. Give advice in a loving way when she asks for it.
37. Lead your family in their spiritual relationship with God. This is very important to her.
38. Show her that you prefer her to others—give her your attention and your time whenever possible.
39. Don't expect her to do projects beyond her capabilities.
40. Pray for her to enjoy God's best in life.
41. Take time to notice what she has done for you and the family (and let her know you notice).
42. Brag about her to other people, both in front of her and when she is not with you.
43. Share your thoughts and feelings with her.
44. Tell her more about your job when she expresses interest.
45. Take time to see how she spends her day, at work or at home.
46. Take care of the children before or after dinner (whichever she prefers, to give her time to herself).
47. Pray together with her after a hurtful time.
48. Help straighten up the house after mealtime.
49. Let her take a bubble bath or some other activity while you do the dishes.
50. Understand her physical limitations and help her with the children.
51. Discipline the children in love, not anger.
52. Help her finish her goals, hobbies, and education.53. Treat her as if God had stamped on her forehead, "Handle with Care."
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy her.
55. Be gentle and thoughtful to her relatives.
56. Don't compare her relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank her for things she has done without expecting anything in return.
58. Be verbally supportive and honor her in front of the children.
59. Make sure she understands everything you're planning to do.
60. Do little things for her—an unexpected kiss, coffee in bed.
61. Treat her as an intellectual equal.
62. Surprise her by asking her to give you a list of 3 things she'd like done around the house within the next month. And then make it your goal to do them.
63. Discover her fears in life.
64. See what you can do to eliminate those fears.
65. Discover her sexual needs.
66. Surprise her with a 15 second kiss (with no expectations to go any further).
67. Work to keep yourself in shape.
68. Plan your future together.
69. Don't quarrel over words, but try to find hidden meanings.
70. Don't forget to use common courtesies with your wife like holding the door open for her and pouring her coffee. (Too often we're kinder to strangers than we are to our own spouse.)
71. Ask her if you offend her sexually in any way.
72. Go out of your way to help her feel valued over anyone else.
73. See if she's uncomfortable about the way money is spent. 74. Take her on dates now and then. You dated her before you married which helped you to fall in love, now date each other to STAY in love.
75. Hold her hand in public.
76. Put your arm around her in front of friends.
77. Tell her love her often.
78. Remember anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions.
79. Go shopping with her if that is what she would enjoy. (And don't keep looking at what time it is when you go with her. That will be a pleasant surprise to her.)
80. Make it a point to teach her to hunt and fish or whatever you enjoy doing if she'd enjoy it.
81. Surprise her by giving her a special gift from time to time.
82. Share the responsibilities around the house.
83. Don't belittle her.
84. Let her express herself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words, especially when angry.
86. Don't criticize her in front of others—keeping her dignity in tact.
87. Don't focus on the physical features of another woman (because, whether you understand her reasoning or not, that makes your wife feel dishonored).
88. Be sensitive to her needs—looking for ways to bless her.
89. Let her know you want to spend special time with her and the children.
90. Fix dinner for her sometimes.
91. Be sympathetic when she's sick—and help her however you can.
92. Call her when you're going to be late.
93. Honor her by not disagreeing with her in front of the children.
94. Take her out to dinner and for weekend getaways.
95. Do the "little things" she needs from time to time.
96. Give her special time alone with her friends.
97. Buy her what she considers an intimate gift.
98. Read a book she recommends to you.
99. Give her an engraved plaque assuring her of your lasting love.
100. Show her affection without sexual intentions.
1. Communicate with her; don't close her out.
2. Talk to her without harshness.
3. Do everything you can to understand her feelings.
4. Be interested in her friends and occasionally give her time to be with them (if they are trustworthy).5. Ask her opinion frequently.
6. Show her you value what she says.
7. Find ways to help her sense your approval and affection.
8. Protect her on a daily basis.
9. Be gentle and tender with her.
10. Make an effort to laugh together every day — even through the toughest of times.
11. Avoid making sudden major changes without discussion and without giving her time to adjust.
12. Respond openly and verbally when she wants to communicate.
13. Comfort her when she's down emotionally. For instance, put your arms around her and silently hold her for a few seconds without lectures or put-downs.
14. Show interest in what she feels is important in life.
15. When you feel a need to correct her do it gently and tenderly—speaking the truth in LOVE. 16. Allow her to teach you without putting up your defenses.
17. Make special time available to her and the children.
18. Go the extra mile to show her that she matters more to you than your need to do something that threatens her sense of security.
19. Compliment her often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, with both words and actions.
21. Sit down with her to set specific family goals to achieve together for each year.
22. Allow her to buy things she considers necessary without hassling her.
23. Be forgiving when she offends you.
24. Show her you need her.
25. Learn to accept her the way she is; discover her uniqueness as special.
26. Admit your mistakes; don't be afraid to be humble. She'll appreciate that!
27. Defend her to others—especially to your family.
28. Allow your wife to fail; lovingly discuss what went wrong after you've comforted her.
29. Rub her feet or neck, or scratch her back after a hard day.
30. Take time to sit and talk calmly when either of you is upset about something
31. Take her out on romantic outings.
32. Write her a letter occasionally, telling her how much you love her.
33. Surprise her with a card or flowers.
34. Express to her how much you appreciate her.
35. Tell her how proud you are of her.
36. Give advice in a loving way when she asks for it.
37. Lead your family in their spiritual relationship with God. This is very important to her.
38. Show her that you prefer her to others—give her your attention and your time whenever possible.
39. Don't expect her to do projects beyond her capabilities.
40. Pray for her to enjoy God's best in life.
41. Take time to notice what she has done for you and the family (and let her know you notice).
42. Brag about her to other people, both in front of her and when she is not with you.
43. Share your thoughts and feelings with her.
44. Tell her more about your job when she expresses interest.
45. Take time to see how she spends her day, at work or at home.
46. Take care of the children before or after dinner (whichever she prefers, to give her time to herself).
47. Pray together with her after a hurtful time.
48. Help straighten up the house after mealtime.
49. Let her take a bubble bath or some other activity while you do the dishes.
50. Understand her physical limitations and help her with the children.
51. Discipline the children in love, not anger.
52. Help her finish her goals, hobbies, and education.53. Treat her as if God had stamped on her forehead, "Handle with Care."
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy her.
55. Be gentle and thoughtful to her relatives.
56. Don't compare her relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank her for things she has done without expecting anything in return.
58. Be verbally supportive and honor her in front of the children.
59. Make sure she understands everything you're planning to do.
60. Do little things for her—an unexpected kiss, coffee in bed.
61. Treat her as an intellectual equal.
62. Surprise her by asking her to give you a list of 3 things she'd like done around the house within the next month. And then make it your goal to do them.
63. Discover her fears in life.
64. See what you can do to eliminate those fears.
65. Discover her sexual needs.
66. Surprise her with a 15 second kiss (with no expectations to go any further).
67. Work to keep yourself in shape.
68. Plan your future together.
69. Don't quarrel over words, but try to find hidden meanings.
70. Don't forget to use common courtesies with your wife like holding the door open for her and pouring her coffee. (Too often we're kinder to strangers than we are to our own spouse.)
71. Ask her if you offend her sexually in any way.
72. Go out of your way to help her feel valued over anyone else.
73. See if she's uncomfortable about the way money is spent. 74. Take her on dates now and then. You dated her before you married which helped you to fall in love, now date each other to STAY in love.
75. Hold her hand in public.
76. Put your arm around her in front of friends.
77. Tell her love her often.
78. Remember anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions.
79. Go shopping with her if that is what she would enjoy. (And don't keep looking at what time it is when you go with her. That will be a pleasant surprise to her.)
80. Make it a point to teach her to hunt and fish or whatever you enjoy doing if she'd enjoy it.
81. Surprise her by giving her a special gift from time to time.
82. Share the responsibilities around the house.
83. Don't belittle her.
84. Let her express herself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words, especially when angry.
86. Don't criticize her in front of others—keeping her dignity in tact.
87. Don't focus on the physical features of another woman (because, whether you understand her reasoning or not, that makes your wife feel dishonored).
88. Be sensitive to her needs—looking for ways to bless her.
89. Let her know you want to spend special time with her and the children.
90. Fix dinner for her sometimes.
91. Be sympathetic when she's sick—and help her however you can.
92. Call her when you're going to be late.
93. Honor her by not disagreeing with her in front of the children.
94. Take her out to dinner and for weekend getaways.
95. Do the "little things" she needs from time to time.
96. Give her special time alone with her friends.
97. Buy her what she considers an intimate gift.
98. Read a book she recommends to you.
99. Give her an engraved plaque assuring her of your lasting love.
100. Show her affection without sexual intentions.
ROMANCING YOUR WIFE-by Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey
If there's any area in which we need to study our wives to serve them better, it's here. Romance inspires her and brings feelings of intimacy to the surface.
Ask a guy what romance is, however, and he'll mumble something about a candlelight dinner or a bouquet of roses. It's more than that. It's knowing what sparks her romantic motors. For some, it will be stuffed animals. For others, it's the j word—jewelry.
Don't ask us why. No man alive really understands the big deal about jewelry. If you tell us you do, we'll call you a liar. The best we can do is shrug our shoulders and ask her which one she likes. She'll [laugh] like a schoolgirl when you buy her those eighteen-carat gold earrings.
If we can put a guy spin on this, romance is serious business for women. A woman going through marriage without romance feels like a man who goes through life without sex. Much of the color of life disappears, and everything turns gray. We must study our wives because we need to find out what she thinks is romantic, not what [the Hollywood movie stars] Julia Roberts or Jennifer Lopez thinks is romantic. Once we find out what the “it” is, we should sacrifice for her.
When we make sacrifices for our wives, they find it romantic. Rhonda told us:
Paul hates shopping with a passion. Before we married, I often went to the mall with my mom and sister for leisure and relaxation. We never spent much, but window-shopping relaxed us. We just enjoyed being together and eating a Haagen-Dazs chocolate ice cream cone as we meandered around. Paul couldn't understand our thought process in the least.
Our first few shopping trips together were disastrous, but then something changed in him. He knew that “mall crawling” was an enjoyable pastime for me, so he began to occasionally ask me whether I wanted to go to the mall to look around. He'll even top off our time with a visit to the ice cream store or cookie stand. Haagen-Dazs or two chocolate chip cookies with white cream in the middle. What a choice! We have so much fun.
When we're romancing our wives, we have to do what they think is fun and what they think is romantic. That shows we know them and care for them. Now, if your wife were to romance you, visiting a cookie stand wouldn't cut it at all, but sitting down on a Friday night on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watching an old Cary Grant movie? Exactly! It's restful, and it's romantic. You're sharing the moment, sharing laughter, and sharing conversation. You're relating to each other, and that builds intimacy.
Women love it when you prove you know them, spring little surprises on them, and somehow show you're sacrificing to do things she loves.
That's romance.
But it's also romantic when you do things for her that she hates. We had a wife tell us she hates to wash silverware after meals. She would even scrub a crusty pan before tackling the silverware. Her husband knows this about her and will step in to wash the silverware for her—even if he doesn't have time to wash the sink full of dishes.
Why is doing for her what she hates romantic to a woman? It proves you know her and have an intimate relationship with her.
Cheryl told us this story: “Sometimes I don't want to do the mundane things like grocery shopping alone. It's not one of Rod's favorite things either. But he goes with me if I ask, and he makes it fun just because we're together. And there's been more than one classical concert he's suffered through with me.”
Do you sense the romance here?
We do.
Ask a guy what romance is, however, and he'll mumble something about a candlelight dinner or a bouquet of roses. It's more than that. It's knowing what sparks her romantic motors. For some, it will be stuffed animals. For others, it's the j word—jewelry.
Don't ask us why. No man alive really understands the big deal about jewelry. If you tell us you do, we'll call you a liar. The best we can do is shrug our shoulders and ask her which one she likes. She'll [laugh] like a schoolgirl when you buy her those eighteen-carat gold earrings.
If we can put a guy spin on this, romance is serious business for women. A woman going through marriage without romance feels like a man who goes through life without sex. Much of the color of life disappears, and everything turns gray. We must study our wives because we need to find out what she thinks is romantic, not what [the Hollywood movie stars] Julia Roberts or Jennifer Lopez thinks is romantic. Once we find out what the “it” is, we should sacrifice for her.
When we make sacrifices for our wives, they find it romantic. Rhonda told us:
Paul hates shopping with a passion. Before we married, I often went to the mall with my mom and sister for leisure and relaxation. We never spent much, but window-shopping relaxed us. We just enjoyed being together and eating a Haagen-Dazs chocolate ice cream cone as we meandered around. Paul couldn't understand our thought process in the least.
Our first few shopping trips together were disastrous, but then something changed in him. He knew that “mall crawling” was an enjoyable pastime for me, so he began to occasionally ask me whether I wanted to go to the mall to look around. He'll even top off our time with a visit to the ice cream store or cookie stand. Haagen-Dazs or two chocolate chip cookies with white cream in the middle. What a choice! We have so much fun.
When we're romancing our wives, we have to do what they think is fun and what they think is romantic. That shows we know them and care for them. Now, if your wife were to romance you, visiting a cookie stand wouldn't cut it at all, but sitting down on a Friday night on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watching an old Cary Grant movie? Exactly! It's restful, and it's romantic. You're sharing the moment, sharing laughter, and sharing conversation. You're relating to each other, and that builds intimacy.
Women love it when you prove you know them, spring little surprises on them, and somehow show you're sacrificing to do things she loves.
That's romance.
But it's also romantic when you do things for her that she hates. We had a wife tell us she hates to wash silverware after meals. She would even scrub a crusty pan before tackling the silverware. Her husband knows this about her and will step in to wash the silverware for her—even if he doesn't have time to wash the sink full of dishes.
Why is doing for her what she hates romantic to a woman? It proves you know her and have an intimate relationship with her.
Cheryl told us this story: “Sometimes I don't want to do the mundane things like grocery shopping alone. It's not one of Rod's favorite things either. But he goes with me if I ask, and he makes it fun just because we're together. And there's been more than one classical concert he's suffered through with me.”
Do you sense the romance here?
We do.
175 ROMANTIC THINGS YOU COULD EASILY DO-By Doug Fields
The strength of your marriage depends on the choices you make to improve it. Unfortunately, many couples have lost the spark they shared before they married and have replaced it with a humdrum routine. Dating and romancing your spouse can change those patterns, and can be a lot of fun, but will require some hard work. Planning and energy are imperative for making good times happen.
Is it worth the trouble? I'm convinced that the lack of dating and romance in marriage is one of the major causes of broken relationships. Marriages usually don't collapse overnight. They become bankrupt gradually because they lack daily deposits of love, communication and affirmation.
[Below are a number of ideas that could help you in your romantic expression with each other.] A few of these ideas may be too outrageous for your style. That's okay. Read the ideas, shake your head in wonder, and mutter, "Some people are really bizarre." I developed this list with the hope that each couple would add to or subtract from it in order to meet their individual ideas. You may find the outrageous ideas are helpful in stretching your imagination and pushing you toward becoming more creative.
Now—for the ideas! Here they are:
1. Sketch your dream-house floor plan and talk about the possibilities for each room.
2. Take a bath or shower together.
3. Write the love story of how you met. Get it printed and bound.
4. List your spouse's best qualities in alphabetical order.
5. Tour a museum or an art gallery.
6. Park in a secluded area and kiss in your car.
7. Make your own movie scene—stop and kiss on a bridge as the sun is setting.
8. Place great emphasis on the little changes she makes concerning her appearance.
9. Give your wife a bath and wash her hair.
10. Float on a raft together.
11. Take a stroll around the block.
12. Take your wife away from the kitchen while she's cooking, and "sauté" her with kisses.
13. Bring home foods she loves to eat but won't buy for herself. (Don't do this if she's dieting!)
14. Give each other a back rub.
15. Rent a classic love-story and watch it while cuddling under blankets.
16. Give your spouse a body massage.
17. Walk through model homes and dream about your next house. Steal a kiss in a closet.
18. Stroll around a nearby lake.
19. Sit in front of the fireplace and talk.
20. Read to one another in bed.
21. Take a horse-drawn carriage ride.
22. Turn the lights down during dinner.
23. Make a surprise call to your spouse while you're out of town (in addition to your scheduled calls).
24. Play music in your bedroom.
25. Go swimming in the middle of the night.
26. Shave your wife's legs.
27. Shave your husband's face.
28. Write a poem for your spouse.
29. Run through the sprinklers on a hot day.
30. Remember to look into your spouse's eyes while she tells you about her day.
31. Make up nicknames for each other.
32. Go the extra mile to please your mate.
33. When you're the one who's correct during a discussion, give your spouse a kiss. Focus on your love rather than who's right.
34. Tell your spouse, "I'm glad I married you!"
35. Fulfill one of your spouse's fantasies.
36. Hug your husband from behind and give him a kiss on the back of the neck.
37. Stop in the middle of your busy day and talk to your spouse for 15 minutes.
38. Create your own special holiday.
39. Place your hand on your spouse's leg when you're riding in the car.
40. Send your wife a compliment through one of her friends or colleagues.
41. Ask for an isolated booth in a restaurant.
42. Become your spouse's cheerleader when she's had a terrible day.
43. Tell your wife, "I love you because…" (Finish the sentence.)44. Show your wife affection while she's talking to one of her friends.
45. Sleep in a sleeping bag together.
46. Do something your spouse loves to do, even though it doesn't interest you personally.
47. Go horseback riding on the same horse.
48. Photocopy a newspaper cartoon and write your own romantic caption.
49. Write out romantic notes and leave them in places your spouse will find them.
50. Cut out romantic photos from magazines and write your own messages on them.
51. While driving, pull over for scenic sights and get out of the car to enjoy God's creation.
52. Write your spouse affirming love letters.
53. Mail your spouse love letters instead of leaving them in the house.
54. Feed ducks together (you can feed any type of animal as long as it's not a house pet—the idea is to get outside together).
55. Build a snowman together.
56. Watch the sun come up or go down.
57. Go fishing together with only one pole.
58. Sit on the same side of a restaurant booth.
59. Spontaneously spend the entire day together away from the house.
60. Picnic by a pond.
61. Give your mate a foot massage.
62. Put on perfume or after-shave before going out.
63. Go Skinny-dipping.
64. Develop a code word for sex that you can use when you're a part of a crowd.
65. Buy your husband or wife a new outfit.
66. Sing a song to your spouse.
67. Let go of helium balloons and watch them race each other out of sight.
68. Buy her a stuffed animal.
69. Write "I love you" in the dust around the house instead of complaining about it.
70. Set up a surprise manicure, hairstyling, or mud bath appointment for your spouse.
71. Put together a puzzle on a rainy night.
72. Read a romance novel together.
73. Rent a boat.
74. Take a train ride.
75. Ride bikes in the rain.
76. Read poetry to one another.
77. Build sand castles on the beach
78. Take a moonlight canoe ride.
79. Make your spouse a greeting card.
80. Swing together on a playground.
81. Go for a midnight dip in a hot tub.
82. Give your wife a balloon bouquet.
83. Plant a tree together in honor of your marriage.
84. Make heart-shaped pancakes and serve them to your wife in bed.
85. Bring home flowers.
86. Surprise your wife when she's busy by saying, "What can I do to help?"
87. Take a hot-air balloon ride.
88. Walk through a housing construction site and kiss each other in each of the houses.
89. Count the stars.
90. Prior to a "work day" at home, hide gifts for your spouse in places where they'll find them.
91. Bring a late-night snack and drink to bed.
92. Order different kinds of food at a restaurant.
93. Whisper something romantic to your spouse in a crowded room.94. Have a candlelight picnic in the backyard.
95. Play tennis at night under a full moon using no lights.
96. Develop a weekly dining spot to meet for lunch.
97. Share a long piece of licorice without using your hands.
98. Make cookies by candlelight.
99. Unscrew the table-light bulb at your restaurant booth to dim the lights.
100. Put perfume on your bed sheets.
101. Leave encouraging notes for your spouse that he will find at different times through the week.
102. Put on old clothes and go out and play in the mud together and then shower together.
103. Hold hands while roller skating.
104. Write out 50 reasons you're glad to be married to your spouse.
105. Tickle-wrestle in bed.
106. Go on a walk together and pick flowers.
107. Put an "I Love You!" message in her lunch.
108. Place a rose on her pillow.
109. Set candles above the bed (carefully!).
110. Serve breakfast in bed.
111. Hide small gifts that your spouse will find throughout the week.
112. Sit and listen carefully to one another.
113. Tuck your wife into bed, read her a goodnight story (or scripture) and kiss her on the forehead.
114. Remember how you used to laugh at things he thought were funny? Do it again.115. Write a song for your spouse.
116. Go for a walk barefoot.
117. Go kite flying.
118. Splash each other.
119. Spend an entire day in the "middle of nowhere".
120. Dance in your candlelit living room.
121. Walk on the beach.
122. Play a board game by the fire.
123. Reminisce through old photo albums.
124. Go away for the weekend.
125. Go for a moonlit walk down a street of beautiful homes.
126. Rub feet under the table.127. Kiss in crowded area.
128. Sit on his lap even when there's sitting room elsewhere.
129. Surprise your spouse with an ice-cold drink while he/she is working hard on a hot day.
130. Kiss in the rain.
131. Join him, unexpectedly, in the shower.
132. Mail a love letter to your spouse's place of work.
133. Create a trail through your home with a string leading your mate to a gift you have for them.
134. Buy your husband a negligee that you know you'll look great in.
135. Brush her hair.
136. Ride a carousel or a merry-go-round.
137. Take a bike ride—on the same bike.
138. Hug while you roll down a hill (if you want to do this again you'd better choose a grassy hill).
139. Leave teasing notes around the house to create an atmosphere of anticipation.
140. Use a tender-touch as you pass one another around the house.
141. Share a milk shake with two straws.
142. Take the phone off the hook, turn off the TV, turn down the lights and kiss on the floor.
143. Put fresh flowers in front of her bathroom sink and write a love note with lipstick on the mirror.144. Dedicate a song to her over the radio.
145. Break away from the chaos of the family long enough to share an intimate conversation.
146. Wink and smile at your spouse from across the room.
147. Kiss your spouse's fingers.148. Celebrate for no reason.
149. Leave a photo of yourself on his dashboard.
150. Give your husband a manicure.
151. Using plastic cups, create your own miniature golf course by placing the cups in different locations around the house and have fun creatively playing the game together.
152. Fill your bed with rose petals.
153. Play strip canasta.
154. Remember something she thinks you've forgotten.
155. Stand together in front of a lake and watch your reflections.
156. Hug for an extended period of time.
157. Leave your lip-prints on a note.
158. Sit in front of the window during a rainstorm.
159. Do something together to help someone else.
160. Take a fun class together.
161. Go rock-skipping.
162. Ride a bicycle-built-for-two.
163. Fall asleep holding each other.
164. Draw your spouse a stick figure picture of something romantic.
165. Tell your wife you will take her anywhere she wants to go.
166. Call your husband during the day and remind him of your love for him.
167. Get up some morning and head out in the car together without planning one single thing.
168. Have a hot bubble-bath ready for her when she comes home from a hard day.
169. Ask your spouse, "What can I do to make you happier?"
170. Buy new satin sheets.
171. Try to go away for the weekend and spend only $20.
172. Break your after-dinner routine and go sightseeing.
173. Mail a love letter to your spouse's place of work.
174. Reminisce about your first kiss or your first date.
175. Drop everything and do something for the one you love—right now!
Is it worth the trouble? I'm convinced that the lack of dating and romance in marriage is one of the major causes of broken relationships. Marriages usually don't collapse overnight. They become bankrupt gradually because they lack daily deposits of love, communication and affirmation.
[Below are a number of ideas that could help you in your romantic expression with each other.] A few of these ideas may be too outrageous for your style. That's okay. Read the ideas, shake your head in wonder, and mutter, "Some people are really bizarre." I developed this list with the hope that each couple would add to or subtract from it in order to meet their individual ideas. You may find the outrageous ideas are helpful in stretching your imagination and pushing you toward becoming more creative.
Now—for the ideas! Here they are:
1. Sketch your dream-house floor plan and talk about the possibilities for each room.
2. Take a bath or shower together.
3. Write the love story of how you met. Get it printed and bound.
4. List your spouse's best qualities in alphabetical order.
5. Tour a museum or an art gallery.
6. Park in a secluded area and kiss in your car.
7. Make your own movie scene—stop and kiss on a bridge as the sun is setting.
8. Place great emphasis on the little changes she makes concerning her appearance.
9. Give your wife a bath and wash her hair.
10. Float on a raft together.
11. Take a stroll around the block.
12. Take your wife away from the kitchen while she's cooking, and "sauté" her with kisses.
13. Bring home foods she loves to eat but won't buy for herself. (Don't do this if she's dieting!)
14. Give each other a back rub.
15. Rent a classic love-story and watch it while cuddling under blankets.
16. Give your spouse a body massage.
17. Walk through model homes and dream about your next house. Steal a kiss in a closet.
18. Stroll around a nearby lake.
19. Sit in front of the fireplace and talk.
20. Read to one another in bed.
21. Take a horse-drawn carriage ride.
22. Turn the lights down during dinner.
23. Make a surprise call to your spouse while you're out of town (in addition to your scheduled calls).
24. Play music in your bedroom.
25. Go swimming in the middle of the night.
26. Shave your wife's legs.
27. Shave your husband's face.
28. Write a poem for your spouse.
29. Run through the sprinklers on a hot day.
30. Remember to look into your spouse's eyes while she tells you about her day.
31. Make up nicknames for each other.
32. Go the extra mile to please your mate.
33. When you're the one who's correct during a discussion, give your spouse a kiss. Focus on your love rather than who's right.
34. Tell your spouse, "I'm glad I married you!"
35. Fulfill one of your spouse's fantasies.
36. Hug your husband from behind and give him a kiss on the back of the neck.
37. Stop in the middle of your busy day and talk to your spouse for 15 minutes.
38. Create your own special holiday.
39. Place your hand on your spouse's leg when you're riding in the car.
40. Send your wife a compliment through one of her friends or colleagues.
41. Ask for an isolated booth in a restaurant.
42. Become your spouse's cheerleader when she's had a terrible day.
43. Tell your wife, "I love you because…" (Finish the sentence.)44. Show your wife affection while she's talking to one of her friends.
45. Sleep in a sleeping bag together.
46. Do something your spouse loves to do, even though it doesn't interest you personally.
47. Go horseback riding on the same horse.
48. Photocopy a newspaper cartoon and write your own romantic caption.
49. Write out romantic notes and leave them in places your spouse will find them.
50. Cut out romantic photos from magazines and write your own messages on them.
51. While driving, pull over for scenic sights and get out of the car to enjoy God's creation.
52. Write your spouse affirming love letters.
53. Mail your spouse love letters instead of leaving them in the house.
54. Feed ducks together (you can feed any type of animal as long as it's not a house pet—the idea is to get outside together).
55. Build a snowman together.
56. Watch the sun come up or go down.
57. Go fishing together with only one pole.
58. Sit on the same side of a restaurant booth.
59. Spontaneously spend the entire day together away from the house.
60. Picnic by a pond.
61. Give your mate a foot massage.
62. Put on perfume or after-shave before going out.
63. Go Skinny-dipping.
64. Develop a code word for sex that you can use when you're a part of a crowd.
65. Buy your husband or wife a new outfit.
66. Sing a song to your spouse.
67. Let go of helium balloons and watch them race each other out of sight.
68. Buy her a stuffed animal.
69. Write "I love you" in the dust around the house instead of complaining about it.
70. Set up a surprise manicure, hairstyling, or mud bath appointment for your spouse.
71. Put together a puzzle on a rainy night.
72. Read a romance novel together.
73. Rent a boat.
74. Take a train ride.
75. Ride bikes in the rain.
76. Read poetry to one another.
77. Build sand castles on the beach
78. Take a moonlight canoe ride.
79. Make your spouse a greeting card.
80. Swing together on a playground.
81. Go for a midnight dip in a hot tub.
82. Give your wife a balloon bouquet.
83. Plant a tree together in honor of your marriage.
84. Make heart-shaped pancakes and serve them to your wife in bed.
85. Bring home flowers.
86. Surprise your wife when she's busy by saying, "What can I do to help?"
87. Take a hot-air balloon ride.
88. Walk through a housing construction site and kiss each other in each of the houses.
89. Count the stars.
90. Prior to a "work day" at home, hide gifts for your spouse in places where they'll find them.
91. Bring a late-night snack and drink to bed.
92. Order different kinds of food at a restaurant.
93. Whisper something romantic to your spouse in a crowded room.94. Have a candlelight picnic in the backyard.
95. Play tennis at night under a full moon using no lights.
96. Develop a weekly dining spot to meet for lunch.
97. Share a long piece of licorice without using your hands.
98. Make cookies by candlelight.
99. Unscrew the table-light bulb at your restaurant booth to dim the lights.
100. Put perfume on your bed sheets.
101. Leave encouraging notes for your spouse that he will find at different times through the week.
102. Put on old clothes and go out and play in the mud together and then shower together.
103. Hold hands while roller skating.
104. Write out 50 reasons you're glad to be married to your spouse.
105. Tickle-wrestle in bed.
106. Go on a walk together and pick flowers.
107. Put an "I Love You!" message in her lunch.
108. Place a rose on her pillow.
109. Set candles above the bed (carefully!).
110. Serve breakfast in bed.
111. Hide small gifts that your spouse will find throughout the week.
112. Sit and listen carefully to one another.
113. Tuck your wife into bed, read her a goodnight story (or scripture) and kiss her on the forehead.
114. Remember how you used to laugh at things he thought were funny? Do it again.115. Write a song for your spouse.
116. Go for a walk barefoot.
117. Go kite flying.
118. Splash each other.
119. Spend an entire day in the "middle of nowhere".
120. Dance in your candlelit living room.
121. Walk on the beach.
122. Play a board game by the fire.
123. Reminisce through old photo albums.
124. Go away for the weekend.
125. Go for a moonlit walk down a street of beautiful homes.
126. Rub feet under the table.127. Kiss in crowded area.
128. Sit on his lap even when there's sitting room elsewhere.
129. Surprise your spouse with an ice-cold drink while he/she is working hard on a hot day.
130. Kiss in the rain.
131. Join him, unexpectedly, in the shower.
132. Mail a love letter to your spouse's place of work.
133. Create a trail through your home with a string leading your mate to a gift you have for them.
134. Buy your husband a negligee that you know you'll look great in.
135. Brush her hair.
136. Ride a carousel or a merry-go-round.
137. Take a bike ride—on the same bike.
138. Hug while you roll down a hill (if you want to do this again you'd better choose a grassy hill).
139. Leave teasing notes around the house to create an atmosphere of anticipation.
140. Use a tender-touch as you pass one another around the house.
141. Share a milk shake with two straws.
142. Take the phone off the hook, turn off the TV, turn down the lights and kiss on the floor.
143. Put fresh flowers in front of her bathroom sink and write a love note with lipstick on the mirror.144. Dedicate a song to her over the radio.
145. Break away from the chaos of the family long enough to share an intimate conversation.
146. Wink and smile at your spouse from across the room.
147. Kiss your spouse's fingers.148. Celebrate for no reason.
149. Leave a photo of yourself on his dashboard.
150. Give your husband a manicure.
151. Using plastic cups, create your own miniature golf course by placing the cups in different locations around the house and have fun creatively playing the game together.
152. Fill your bed with rose petals.
153. Play strip canasta.
154. Remember something she thinks you've forgotten.
155. Stand together in front of a lake and watch your reflections.
156. Hug for an extended period of time.
157. Leave your lip-prints on a note.
158. Sit in front of the window during a rainstorm.
159. Do something together to help someone else.
160. Take a fun class together.
161. Go rock-skipping.
162. Ride a bicycle-built-for-two.
163. Fall asleep holding each other.
164. Draw your spouse a stick figure picture of something romantic.
165. Tell your wife you will take her anywhere she wants to go.
166. Call your husband during the day and remind him of your love for him.
167. Get up some morning and head out in the car together without planning one single thing.
168. Have a hot bubble-bath ready for her when she comes home from a hard day.
169. Ask your spouse, "What can I do to make you happier?"
170. Buy new satin sheets.
171. Try to go away for the weekend and spend only $20.
172. Break your after-dinner routine and go sightseeing.
173. Mail a love letter to your spouse's place of work.
174. Reminisce about your first kiss or your first date.
175. Drop everything and do something for the one you love—right now!
MAKE A DATE FOR A DATE WITH YOUR MATE
Dating your husband or wife will be very different from dating a potential husband or wife. Yet it is just as important. When you were single, dating was a time to get away alone, to talk, laugh, and have fun together. You took time to get away alone, to talk, laugh, and have fun together. You took time to learn more about each other, about your past and your dreams for the future. You gradually felt at ease with each other.
But, you see, even though you're married, the two of you still need the same thing. You need to get away alone and continue to talk, laugh, and have fun together. You need to learn more about each other, your past and your dreams for the future. You need to feel at ease with each other as you face new challenges together.
That's why dating shouldn't stop with marriage. Too often, married couples get settled, caught up in the routine of jobs, church, parenting, and other commitments. Many couples are so busy that they don't take time to nurture the foundation of their family—their marriage and their relationship with each other. As we know all too well, when that marriage foundation begins to crumble, everything else comes down with it.
Your marriage is your most important relationship after your relationship with God. Your marriage needs nurturing. Like a plant needs water or a car needs an oil change, your marriage needs consistent attention. It needs care and nurture every day; it needs a special "tune-up" once in a while. You may need to jump-start a habit that needs to be a regular part of your marriage. You need to reconnect with your spouse. You need to work at your marriage.
Guys, you wouldn't think of ignoring your car for a year at a time, so why do you think your wife can go for days or weeks at a time without attention from you? Women, you wouldn't think of buying a plant and refusing to water it, so why do you think your husband can go for days or weeks at a time without some of his most important needs being met?
Keep a marriage together and romance alive takes time. It means making one's marriage and spouse a priority and setting aside time for only him or her. In other words, it means planning dates on a regular basis.
But, you see, even though you're married, the two of you still need the same thing. You need to get away alone and continue to talk, laugh, and have fun together. You need to learn more about each other, your past and your dreams for the future. You need to feel at ease with each other as you face new challenges together.
That's why dating shouldn't stop with marriage. Too often, married couples get settled, caught up in the routine of jobs, church, parenting, and other commitments. Many couples are so busy that they don't take time to nurture the foundation of their family—their marriage and their relationship with each other. As we know all too well, when that marriage foundation begins to crumble, everything else comes down with it.
Your marriage is your most important relationship after your relationship with God. Your marriage needs nurturing. Like a plant needs water or a car needs an oil change, your marriage needs consistent attention. It needs care and nurture every day; it needs a special "tune-up" once in a while. You may need to jump-start a habit that needs to be a regular part of your marriage. You need to reconnect with your spouse. You need to work at your marriage.
Guys, you wouldn't think of ignoring your car for a year at a time, so why do you think your wife can go for days or weeks at a time without attention from you? Women, you wouldn't think of buying a plant and refusing to water it, so why do you think your husband can go for days or weeks at a time without some of his most important needs being met?
Keep a marriage together and romance alive takes time. It means making one's marriage and spouse a priority and setting aside time for only him or her. In other words, it means planning dates on a regular basis.
WHAT MAKES A MARRIAGE LAST
IT'S THE EVERYDAY CHOICES THAT YOU MAKE:
To do what is best for your partner in life...
To respect the commitment of being husband and wife...
To be still and just listen —not have to be heard...
To forgive and forget and not need "the last word"...
To admit you're not perfect —you'll both make mistakes...
To support the decisions that each of you makes...
To be willing to laugh when a day has been rough...
To divide up the burdens when life becomes tough...
To support one another when things are too hurried...
To comfort each other when stress keeps you worried...
To be willing to cherish your true love and friend with a joy and compassion that will never end.
As you celebrate each year together.
May you always have Understanding to make your marriage work,
Commitment to make your marriage grow
And Love to make your marriage happy!
To do what is best for your partner in life...
To respect the commitment of being husband and wife...
To be still and just listen —not have to be heard...
To forgive and forget and not need "the last word"...
To admit you're not perfect —you'll both make mistakes...
To support the decisions that each of you makes...
To be willing to laugh when a day has been rough...
To divide up the burdens when life becomes tough...
To support one another when things are too hurried...
To comfort each other when stress keeps you worried...
To be willing to cherish your true love and friend with a joy and compassion that will never end.
As you celebrate each year together.
May you always have Understanding to make your marriage work,
Commitment to make your marriage grow
And Love to make your marriage happy!
Poem to Husband from Wife
I Love You
(Name)
How do I begin to tell you how lucky I am
to have you in my life?
I'll start by saying what an honor it is
for me to be your wife.
You're my best friend in the good times
and my rock in times of sorrow.
You're the reason for sweet yesterdays
and my promise for tomorrow.
I never thought I could feel this loved
until I became your wife.
You made this year and every year
the best one of my life.
Closing Example
Love always,
(Name)
(Name)
How do I begin to tell you how lucky I am
to have you in my life?
I'll start by saying what an honor it is
for me to be your wife.
You're my best friend in the good times
and my rock in times of sorrow.
You're the reason for sweet yesterdays
and my promise for tomorrow.
I never thought I could feel this loved
until I became your wife.
You made this year and every year
the best one of my life.
Closing Example
Love always,
(Name)
Love Poems
Poem to Wife from Husband
To My Wonderful Wife
(Name)
How do I begin to tell you how lucky I am
to have you in my life?
I'll start by saying what a gift you gave me
the day you became my wife.
You're my best friend in the good times
and my rock in times of sorrow.
You're the reason for sweet yesterdays
and my promise for tomorrow.
I never thought I could feel this loved
until you became my wife.
You made this year and every year
the best one of my life. n
Closing Example
Love always,
(Name)
(Optional date)
To My Wonderful Wife
(Name)
How do I begin to tell you how lucky I am
to have you in my life?
I'll start by saying what a gift you gave me
the day you became my wife.
You're my best friend in the good times
and my rock in times of sorrow.
You're the reason for sweet yesterdays
and my promise for tomorrow.
I never thought I could feel this loved
until you became my wife.
You made this year and every year
the best one of my life. n
Closing Example
Love always,
(Name)
(Optional date)
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